Jokes

[savagecre]

Ok Frank walks into a bar, sits down and orders three beers from the bar tender. Bartender looks at him funny and poors three beers for Frank. The bartender watches him drink a sip of beer from each glass, He finishes them off this way.

Next day Frank comes into the bar and orders three beers again. Bartender says "Hey I don't mean to pry but the beers will stay fresher longer if you order then one at a time." Frank say (with a chuckle) "NO, NO, you see I have two older brothers and we made a packed that if we ever drank alone we would drink this way.". Oh OK the bartender says...

Well Frank became a regular there. Six months go bye and Frank walks in. Bartender says "Three beers comin up Frank".. "NO" Frank says " Just two". "What Oh my god Frank I'm so sorry for your loss" Says the Bartender." What? No My wife wont let me drink any more so I had to quit." Said Frank. :bigsmilie: :bigsmilie:

 

[savagecre]

Ok so lets hear some good ones ...........BUT Lets Keep Them CLEAN

 

[Shaun]

Ok Please Understand I Used To Work With A Bunch Of Divorced And Bitter Women! Lol So Its A Male Bashing Joke!
What Do Men And Carpets Have In Common? If U Layem' Right The First Time U Can Walk On Em' Forever! Lol Sorry Not Totally Clean But Not Rude Either!

 

[Shaun]

How Many Divorced Men Does It Take To Screw In A Light Bulb? None The Biatch Got The House!!!! Lmao

 

[Shaun]

Whats The Absolute Worse Thing U Can Do To Your Wife When Your Making Love? Call Her!!!!! Lmao

 

[Shaun]

Now I Didnt Make This One Up And I don't Condone What It Talks About But It Is Funny............... What Do U Do If U See Your Wife Staggering Around In The Backyard? Reload!!! As I Said Its Crude But Funny!!! I Just don't Want Ya To Think I'm A Freak!!! Lmao

 

[Shaun]

Can Ya Tell I Work With A Few Bitter Guys Now? as apposed to the women? Lmao Half My Crew Have Ex Wives!!! Ha Ha

 

[Shaun]

i have hundreds but 90% of them i wouldnt say on here out of respect for everyone!!

 

[benny]

a blonde was walking down the street with headphones on and a owner of a new salon was trying to get people to come in and get there hair done so he waves the blode in sits her down and takes her headphones off to start shampooing her hair and about half way throught it he notices she isnt breathing anymore so he calls an ambulance and sends her to the hospitle. after she had left and all the comotion had died down he picked up her headphones and listened to it and it was playing "breathe in breathe out breathe in breathe out" (sorry for the gramatical errors lol)

 

[savagecre]

This blonde was speeding down the highway. A highway patrol officer who also was blonde pulls her over. Afternoon says the blonde cop licence registration please.

The blonde speeder says whats the licence look like.

The blonde cop says Its the square thingy with your picture on it.

Oh ok the blonde speeder says, as she fumbles through the gobs of garbage in her purse she see,s her compact mirror its square and she sees her reflection in it. So she hands it over to the blonde cop

Blonde cop looks at it and says Well if I'da known you were a cop I would'nt have pulled you over.....................Bada bang!

 

[DOOBEEWHA]

There was a report of a man who had gone blind from using too much Viagra in the news the other day.

When asked about how he felt about the side effects, He replied, Well... I guess it sux that I can't see anymore, but I don't think I'll be needing a cane.

 

[benny]

one day a father sat down and said son if don't stop masturbating ur gonna go blind and the son said HEY DAD I'm OVER HERE! (sorry its kinda bad)

 

[benny]

ventriloquist

a young ventriloquist is touring the clubs one night and is doing a show in a small town in arkansas. with his dummy on his knee he starts going throught his usual dumb blond jokes when a blone in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting "ive heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. what kaes you think u can sterotype women like that? what does the color of a persons hair have to do with her worth as a human being? its guys like you that keep women from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching there full potential as a person. because you and yor kind perpetuat decrimination against not only blondes but women in general and in all the name of humor!!" the embarresed ventriloquist began to apologize, and the blonde yells, "you stay out of this mister in talking to the little **** on your knee.